Ministry - Relapse

Well here's your new Ministry album, everybody. This thing screams along at an incredible pace and, of course, Al's pissed off about all sorts of things once again. At this point in the review, I should lay down the ground rule: Ministry are a metal band these days and an unapologetic one at that. If this isn't what you wanted to hear then you are free to go jack off on your copies of 'The Land of Rape and Honey' or 'The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste'. Cling to that youth, it's not pathetic at all. Bottom line, those days are long gone and this band are radically more aggressive than they ever were when MTV courted them or Sire tried to "market" them.

For fans like myself, Ministry became truly fearsome with the release of 'Filth Pig' in 1995. This, more than anything else, more than all the rumors about the band's backstage activities or road warrior mentality was when Jourgenson and then cohort Barker drew the line in the sand as if to say: "Not one fucking millimeter further. Back off now or lose those limbs." Following it up with 1999's 'Dark Side of the Spoon' was akin to putting all those Warner Brothers eggs in a basket and then blowing it to pieces. Courageous doesn't even begin to describe what that album is to me.

Cut forward to now, 2012. Barker's been out of the band for nearly a decade and Hypo's recruited some seriously heavy hitters in the time since to flesh out the line up. You almost have to feel sorry for the instruments and the abuse they suffered at the hands of such a rancorous lot. I'm on board for most of what Alien gives on 'Relapse' but then there are those political songs... urgh. "99 Percenters" I can slog through but what the hell is a song like "Git Up Get Out 'n' Vote" doing on here. Our leading man spends so much time on this record lashing out at the duplicitous nature of lawmakers that it's inconceivable he actually expects any change to come from the sheer will of a populist vote. No, I mean this. Check out the song "Kleptocracy" and feast your ears on the malice he feels towards his elected officials. He knows as well as I do that they're all the same and that the maxim of political discourse can be summarized simply: power corrupts. So why waste the space on the album with this kind of talking point nonsense. Ask yourself, why is he paraphrasing Larry the Cable guy's catch phrase. I'm all for inside jokes, but come on!

But for all the odious nature of those two songs, there are others like "Weekend Warrior" that just kick ass on every imaginable level. I about fell out of my chair howling with laughter at the skewering Jourgenson gives suburbia and 'bro' culture on this track. We all know people like this, yes, even you pseudo intellectual industrial types grinding your teeth waiting for Psalm 69 MKII so you can mock it. The daily grind of a Monday through Friday job, probably a loveless marriage waiting at home to smother you but hey, it's the weekend motherfucker! Time for you and your buddies to hobble out or sit around drinking heavily trying to push it as hard as you did in your 20s... but you're 40 or more now. Gee, once again... not pathetic at all. This of course is driven along by an absolutely brutal rhythm section with riffs sawing into your chest hungrily wanting to feast on those quivering organs and luscious guts you have.

And speaking of guts, I have to commend Al Jourgenson for resurrecting Ministry and taking the venomous bitch out for one last spin around the block. It would have been all too easy to retreat to the world of producing and sniping bitterly from the side line instead of getting back out in front and screaming his head off. For the most part, 'Relapse' delivers the goods and those pummeling guitars drop in and out of the tracks like rabid Hyenas on the scent of blood. The SOD cover is vicious! No, this is not the Ministry of old, it doesn't have the strange penchant for prolonged instrumentals anymore or droning excursions into sampled storyville. Mr. Luxa likes it hard and fast which is precisely what you'll get bludgeoned over the head and thrown down the stairs by. The age old phrase comes to mind (sic) when addressing those stodgy desk jockeys (who never expected to become ones): if it's too loud then you're too old. United forces won't be stopped. Mar 28 2012