[Android/Kölon:58] - Bear Wremixler

There are numerous dissimilar compilations and albums directed toward the death of someone special or devoted to a cause. While countless of these heartwarming releases are able to speak softly to me, I don't think the general media public has ever published such a genuine track as [AndroidKölon:58]'s 'Bear Wrestler'. Originally appearing back in November of 2014, the song was dedicated to their fallen bandmate eLi4 who was, as AK58 has so delicately put, "...a fucking bear wrestler." Alas, out of their own depression and darkness they have risen the song to a better cause. AK58, who is good friends with Claus Larsen of Leaether Strip, has put out a remix compilation of the song where all profits will go towards Kurt's (Claus' husband) medical expenses due to serious kidney failure. You don't get much more selfless than that. 

If you have not heard the original song, which makes an appearance as the final track on the remix compilation, it is a crunchy bass pounding aural assault that viciously intertwines with dialogue from a very freaky, very fetish based pornography. For example, what I would presume to be the woman - which I don't for it could very will be a transvestite as much as a female - says somewhere in the middle of the song, "I wish I could have fucking ten dicks in me." If all this sounds juicy and good to you, then welcome to the club, sit back, and enjoy what ak58 and all his twisted remixers are about to throw at you. 

Cellhavoc starts off with the first remix and finds their industrial metal instincts elsewhere. We rather get a simplistic harsh electro dance tune that, though it may stick to conventions, is leisurely. Powernoise, dark ambient, and EBM hybrid [ EC ] hit in next with a straight four on the floor dance mix of the track. 

What is absolutely fantastic about the next track is that Claus Larsen takes time to actually do a vocal edit of the song. For the deaf, blind, and dumb, that means that Larsen took his voice and sung on the album. While the instrumental version of the track is good on its own, Larsen's additional cords fit right in the song, and the extra industrial slams are welcomed. 

Acidrodent's innocently titled 'Cunt Punch Remix' of the song uses his sludgy and misanthropic metal guitar riffs. The lewd track becomes extra dirty with his addition. Caffetine took the song and upped it with a dose of speed, which made the song equivalent to an acid trip. 

I really appreciated the power noise appliance with Gross National Produkt's toughening touch. This project pounded the shit out of the original and gave it a new face - a new face that it probably didn't like. Binary Division's formula of providing strange, ebbing notes and an otherwise punchy pull did their remix well. 

Antibody's remix pretty much took the song and replaced it with every beat I've ever heard from the band. It was rather interesting. Psychosomatik had one of the more experimental remixes on the album. It is hard to explain, but if I had to - which I do - I'd say it's synonymous with a smoother electro mix featuring dabs of industrial foreplay. 

Lights Out, God Help Me's 'For Whom The Bear Growls Mix' still kept the pounding rhythm of the original intact, but provided a drum'n'bass line above that. That small but little inclusion, along with all his other touches, made the song more club worthy. Lastly, Robots On Drug's 'Harder, Faster, Longer' take fulfills it's name in all aspects. It is a tad bit harder than the original song, the pace is certainly speedier, and it succeeds the canon's time by eighteen seconds. Today is a day I can say that I have not been lied to. 

While this is a remix compilation and some might cringe at the though of one remix after another of the same song, you'd be kind of stupid just to sit there and listen to each and every single remix one after the other. That's not how these things are meant to be listened to - at least most of the time - unless you are a complete music junkie. Nonetheless, the remixes on this album are plentiful and bountiful, with my two favorites being that of Claus Larsen's vocal edit and Gross National Produkt's Remix. 

If you're looking for good music and also hoping to gain some good karma with your next purchase, get the "Bear Wremixler". It's available in both physical and digital formats, and I doubt either will disappoint you. Plus, the physical copy has some awesome cover art. Check it out. 
Dec 29 2015