
Stoxxi's Corner: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
2.5
"Worthless"
Genre: Science Fiction
Director: Jack Perez (Ace Hannah)
Writer: Jack Perez (Ace Hannah)
Star actors: Deborah Gibson, Lorenzo Lamas, Mark Hengst, Sean Lawlor, Jay Beyers, Stephen Blackehart
Steve - "Welcome to our first edition of Stoxxi's (That's Steve and Roxxi combined) Corner. This will be a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, or whenever the fuck we want feature by Roxxi and I. Pretty much, we are going to watch terrible movies (or good ones depending on our moods) and give them a dandy little review. And, today we have had the pleasure of watching 'Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus'. And we are going to tell you all about its glory."
Roxxi - "I wanted to like it, but I mean, I couldn't. There were zero redeeming qualities in that entire film."
Roxxi - "The only entertainment we had was making fun of it together. So in that regard, it's kinda good because there's so much wrong in that movie, it's just asking to be made fun of."
Roxxi - "The supporting cast wasn't much better, stereotypical nerdy Asian guy and Lamar the friendly Irishman."
Steve - "Another thing we pointed out was how all these...I can't call them actors because that would be an insult to actual actors, but these unconvincing shits were pretty much B-movie versions of good actors. Such as the Irishman named Lamar. He was pretty much a bootleg version of Sean Connery. Pretty much, if Connery had a failed, aborted clone, Lamar would be him.
Roxxi - "I mean, I'm sure there are people who would like this movie and think it's genuinely good but I would assume that they are idiots and their mothers are drunks, so there's that."
Roxxi - "One of the characters in the movie tells the main character she shouldn't expect any kind of career advancements. I feel like that was a self-fulfilling prophecy for the director and the cast."
Steve - "Haha. I love that. I really love that. Oh, wait, we cannot discuss this movie without mentioning the honorable men and women who portrayed the military operatives in the film. In all honesty, I can only imagine that this is what North Korea would look like going to war."
Roxxi - "Oh yeah! The army people were so bad, they yelled at each other and had stupid euphemisms for everything and at once point they even pulled guns on each other."
Roxxi - "Oh my God, remember that one guys dialogue? 'You were a ray of light in all this darkness', I was crying."
Roxxi - "It was definitely the best performance in the film, and I'm 97% sure I'm not using sarcasm when I say that."
Roxxi - "Yup, there really isn't much to say about 'Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus' that the title doesn't already say."
Roxxi - "I'm gonna have to agree with your score, if I watched it alone I probably would've skipped through the entire thing and cried about wasting an hour of my time."
STOXXI'S SCORE: 2.5 OUT OF 10

Steven Gullotta
info@brutalresonance.comI've been writing for Brutal Resonance since November of 2012 and now serve as the editor-in-chief. I love the dark electronic underground and usually have too much to listen to at once but I love it. I am also an editor at Aggressive Deprivation, a digital/physical magazine since March of 2016. I support the scene as much as I can from my humble laptop.
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