Cretin Dilettante - Salvador Dali's Moustache Ride: A Lesson In Psychedelic Surrealist Sex Rituals

I'm really not sure how to take this album at all just by the very hypocritical nature of the artist presenting this six track sexually referenced album. This is coming from an artist who has stated on this very site, "Having taken a brief look at the sort of artists you've given favorable reviews, I'm kind of insulted to be lower than an artist who names their songs stuff like 'Slut Junkie'." While I was taken aback by his comment, and very much greeted the criticism with optimism, I cannot say that I'm too fond of what the artist said now that I've seen the titles that he uses for his very own songs. At all.

First off, if you're going to criticize an artist just for using a song title such as Slut Junkie, (By the way, that's a song from Pretty Addicted's Filth which turned out to be a favorite of mine for 2013), then you really need to look back at your own discography and what you've submitted to this site to be reviewed. With such songs as Nearing Climax, Moustache Ride In B Minor, and even Booterflyeejaculatie, I really can't take anything this artist says seriously.

Even the title of the album contradicts what he said to an extreme; it's called Salvador Dali's Moustache Ride: A Lesson In Psychedelic Surrealist Sex Rituals. If that's not a winning title, then I don't know what is. However, I don't want to go into this review with a negative impression on my tongue. I always blank my mind of past experiences and just let the music do the talking.

And, well, I let the music speak. And like God, I am now here to judge. Love With Sound is a dark ambient sounding song with a lot of little samples placed throughout. Most of it sounds like distorted laughs just overlapping one another. Overall, the song wasn't absolutely fascinating, but it wasn't terrible either, so I was off to a good start.

The next song, Radio Erotica, was fairly minimal. With a light static noise that lasted for most of the first half, I can say that this was pretty boring. That was a light drum effect in there, and the static, or at least what I would like to call static, got louder as the song went on, but, still, this isn't something I would highly recommend to anyone. This song also transitioned right into the next.

More noise plays over the already established sound in Nearing Climax, and I can't say that any of it was too good. There's a really high pitched and loud noise at the two minute thirty two second mark for absolutely no reason I can come up with. Maybe it was just to destroy your ears. Towards the end of the song, there's a pretty one minded note going through that pings in every so often, but, still, it's not that great. Another transition.

And we come to the wonderful Booterflyeejaculate. By this time, I felt the album was a chore to get through. More horrible noise plagued my ear. What sounded like tapes screeching just to roll in a reel disturbed the overall atmosphere of the music. However, I did enjoy around the five and a half minute mark when there was a sample of a boy pleading for something. It was relatively creepy and gave me some chills. Other than that, I was glad that this song was over.

No Complaints came in next. While the first minute focused entirely on two men having a conversation about something (the sample was too muddy to make out most of what was said), and then the rest of the song really just focused on more samples that was just boring. There was some shit that made the voices fast forward to become squeaky and fast paced, and there was a synth line going along with everything, but this was just boring as hell.

And, the last song used works from other piano works that were cut in between with effects that slowed down the music and made it sound more drastic. I didn't really consider this a full on song more than a copy and paste effort with some cute effects. And that's the end of that.

And, now that the music has talked along with its producer, I can once more say that Cretin Dilettante has created a piece worthy of negative remarks. Last time I wrote a review of this artist, he complained that I didn't say too much. And this time, I think I have said far too much than this album is worth. Needless to say, I hope his attitude dies down regarding other artists work, and can take this criticism with a smile rather than feeling the need to put down others' work just because he didn't get a favorable review.
Jun 10 2014